Blood. Margarine. Tears. Seduction. All in an episode’s work! “The Better Half,” was an unexpectedly morbid hour of shenanigans. I mean, never would I have taken Peggy for a murderer (kidding, of course), and since when is Betty the center of attention? And does the market share of margarine even matter, or are the guys (boys, really!) just over-analyzing all of this buttery nonsense, while Harry sits there like a worthless little prick?

Mrs. Betty is a woman about the town, appearing to be way more glamorous than in the beginning of the season. But seriously, when did Betty randomly become smokin’? While her and Henry are at some fundraiser, a very “hungry” Stew is set on taking home this hot mama. “I want to be alone with you all night,” he says to Betty. But Henry breaks up any future plans for those two as he busts through the door, sensing a bit of flirtation.

Peggy and Abe’s house has been a series of red flags from the get go, and it finally took that ridiculous spear-stabbing scene to end their downward spiraling relationship. Oh yeah, and him getting stabbed by two random people outside the Metro, like, not even two days prior. Not really Abe’s week. While he dizzily experiences the stab side effects from Peggy in the ambulance, he confesses in a series of run-ons how he really feels about his girlfriend, who after all, is just a chick in advertising. Womp, womp! When the breakup is through, Peggy approaches Ted at the office thinking he will be more inviting to the idea she’s single, since he confessed his “love with his protégé,” but he maintains his professional cool and gets way too excited about it being Monday. Peggy did not seem happy (she actually looked pretty crazy.) There’s always next episode…

Bobby goes to camp, and aw! Isn’t it all just way too adorable? Except for maybe that awkward song where they all start fist pumping. And how about Don and Betty, rekindling their once upon a time romance? Which weirdly enough, I didn’t even blame them for. The two were actually pretty cute, recalling conceiving Miss Sally in the woods during their trip to Lake Champlain with Betty’s parents, smokin’ cigs. In the morning after their little hoorah, Betty pulls a Don by ditching him in bed the following morning, while she laughs away with Mr. Henry at breakfast and enjoys her otherwise happy life.

Megan seems to be dealing criticisms of her acting for the first time, which is not the usual, “Oh my god Megan, you’re amazing!” appraisal she’s used to. When taking on the opposing roles of the twins (which: Megan as a blonde? Definitely not!), they call her out on not acting them out separately enough, forcing her to live up to her mistake. But her sexy co-star Arlene, aka her boss’ wife, who we later find out has “plans” for the two, reassures her it’s no big deal. However, Megan’s insecurities overpower her ability to move on.

In the case of Roger knowing nothing about how to be a dad, he takes his four year-old to go see Planet of the Apes. Probably not the most appropriate, but hey, Don Draper took his kid, so it must be OK. Later on he makes an unexpected visit to Joan’s, bringing over some Lincoln Logs (he tried!) for Kevin while Greg is away at Vietnam. Joan, trying to hide the fact from Bob, insists he stopped over for business and tells him to deal with the matter on Monday. When they get back to work, Joan scolds Roger and tells him to stay away, that Greg is the father figure in his life, and anything more would be too confusing for Kevin.

A little sad to know that next week is the season 6 finale. “The Better Half” more than sufficed a second to last episode (I mean, anything beats the drug-induced blur of last week!), but will something magically “change” between Don and Megan so that Megan’s not feeling so alone (thinking probably not)? Will Peggy and Ted make out again? Will Roger ever get his shit together? Is Sylvia gone forever? Will Pete’s mom be OK? Are Joan and Bob totally gonna do it? A lot of questions to be asked here…

Quotables:

• “Butter is actually fresh. Margarine is indestructible.” –Don
• “We’re the 27 Yankees.” –Harry
• “Do you want to get your balls tickled? Get a headhunter.” –Harry
• “I’m not paying you to be a diplomat!” –Don
• “Can you believe I’ve had three children?” –Betty
• “Kids are supposed to run!” –Roger
• “While you were watching me, everyone was watching you. Weren’t they?” –Henry
• “I never should have kissed you!” –Ted
• “What an old tune. The boss in love with his protege.” –Ted
• “Bobby! Language.” –Betty
• “When I saw you earlier today, I thought for a second, who is that man? I forgot how mad I was at you.” –Betty
• “Close the door, or you’ll let the bugs in.” –Betty
• “I’m fine with being a tease.” –Megan
• “Let the wig do the work.” –Arlene
• “Everything as it was!” –Arlene
• “Ugh, menthols. I don’t miss that.” –Don
• “Bobby reminds me of my father. So bossy.” –Betty
• “Why is sex the definition of being close to someone?” –Don
• “The poor girl, she doesn’t know that loving you is the worst way to get to you.” –Betty
• “Maybe we’re not cut out to be pioneers.” –Abe
• “I saw The Gollum when I was his age, and I turned out OK.” –Roger
• “It’s such a project, going to the beach.” –Joan
• “I guess we’re all a little bit out of context right now.” –Roger

(photo via RapidMoviez)