“It’s like jury duty, or floods: they happen.”

Last night’s episode of Girls felt rather uncomfortable. We find out Hannah’s editor was found dead, and the result of that death (that has the “literary community left scratching their heads”) spews our ladies into some self-discovery. Hannah clearly has some issues to begin with, but throwing a death into the mix of her issues really gave us an inside look as to who she is becoming. I mean, that is what the point of Girls is to begin with, right? Who is she becoming, you ask? Hannah is becoming insecure. While to some it may have been implied this whole time that she had obvious insecurities, it really shows us just how much doubt she has about who she is and what she’s doing with her life. Faced with this death, we see Hannah become self-involved with her book being published and avoiding everyone’s concern like it was the plague.

Through it all, we get to see Jessa (the one you hate to love) find out that an old friend of hers who she believed to be dead was actually alive, and well, shacking up in a brownstone with a husband and a kid. It takes Jessa, who you’ve admittedly felt sympathy for thus far this season, and makes her even more unrelatable. She discovers that her “friend” faked her own death and funeral to exodus Jessa from her life for being a terrible influence on who she was. What seemingly is an out of place story arc really fits into this season’s Jessa-heavy episodes, allowing us to get to know her better. What I’ve found so far is that Jessa truly suffers when she’s left alone.

Hannah finally decides to sit down and talk about the death with Laird, her ex-junkie neighbor, and Adam’s sister, Caroline. We see that Laird has lost his pet turtle, giving him a way to fit into the episode in a very real and honest way, which is why we all love Laird to begin with. Caroline proceeds to tell a story about her neighbor who died who had muscular dystrophy which leave Laird in tears, making him the only character who seemingly showed any emotion about a death in the episode. After he starts crying, Caroline admits that the story was fake, but still leaves him sad in the end. (Boo, Caroline)!

Flash to Hannah and Adam discussing the events of her editor’s passing, in which Adam tells her to just feel something about it instead of being so unfazed by it. So, what does our self-involved Hannah do? Tells Adam the fake story told by Caroline and tries to exhibit some form of a serious emotion, which simply reads all too fake.

The episode was titled “Dead Inside”, and quite frankly, she greatly summed up the episode in two words. Thus far in this season, Girls feels different. Something is happening that I haven’t seen from Dunham before. Hannah has genuinely no external emotions that we can see about death, leading us to believe she’s far more into her own head than we could have ever imagined.