13 reasons why we’re gonna go see Ted this weekend (and why you probably should too)

1. He was on the cover of Rollin’ Stoned

(via Facebook)

2. He gives really philosophical advice

(via Facebook)

3. He knows LeBron is a traitor and a dick

(via Twitter)

4. He drinks Captain Morgan and eats Captain Crunch for breakfast (what he calls an “El Captain”)

(via Facebook)

5. The ladies love him, and he loves the ladies (boobs)

(via Facebook)

6. He makes beautiful works of art (Ted’s “Fancy Gentlemen of Yore with Porno Dicks in Their Faces”)

(via Tumblr)

7. He dreams about becoming a ninja with x-ray vision who can fly

(via Facebook)

8. He’s 420 friendly (OK that’s an understatement: he gets really fuckin’ stoned)

(via Facebook)

9. He writes epic poetry (like better than Milton ever could)

(via Tumblr)

10. He gives good movie recommendations (Flash! Ah-ahhh, Savior of the Universe!)

(via Tumblr)

11. He has his very own “e-card” line “Ted-e-cards”

(via Facebook)

12. He met and drank beers with the Prez (and Michelle)

(via Facebook)

13. He’s funny as fuck!

We’ve grown to love this hilarious and dirty little bear over the past few months, ever since the sneak peak at SXSW, and if these 13 reasons still aren’t enough, he has a whole slew of funniness on his blog, Twitter, and Facebook—for a shit ton more of where all of this came from.

Check when Ted is playing in your city and get tickets for this weekend for you and all your friends (or maybe even your mom!). He recommends rippin’ a few bongs before, too.